Arrrr mateys! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day today! To be celebrating such a fine day, I have some of thee worst pirate jokes yea have ever heard. So if yea be a land-lobber then read on and be prepared to shiver yea timbers.
Q: Where does a pirate go on vacation?
Q: How much did the pirate pay for corn?
A: a buck an ear (buccaneer)
Q: Why couldn't the pirate go to the movie?
A: It was rated Arrr
Q: Why was it rated R?
A: It showed to much booty.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a pirate sitting at the bar with a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. The guy thinks, this pirate would be cool to talk to. So he walks up and sits at the bar.
Guy: So are you a real pirate?
Pirate: Arrr, I be.
Guy: How did you get a peg leg?
Pirate: I was working the mast in a heavy storm and the rigging wrapped around me leg and ripped it off.
Guy: WOW! So how did you get the hook?
Pirate: I was swimming through the wreckage of me ship and a shark bite me hand clean off.
Guy: AMAZING! So how did you end up with the eye patch?
Pirate: A bird flew over head and crapped in me eye.
Guy: Really... after the other stories...
Pirate: Well it was the first day with me new hook!
Q: Why didn't the pirate take a shower before walking the plank?
A: He knew he'd wash-up on shore later.
Q: What does a pirate say when he is playing Santa?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and a bottle of Rum!
Q: Why did it take the pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
A: He spent years at C!
Q: Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: They just Arrrr
So if thar be any of yea scurvy dogs out there liken a good or bad joke, have at thee!
Sean "Striderlotr" Banks